Yes and No.

Invite a girl out and see what she says. Is it the truth? does it matter? When it really boils down to it you have 3 potential responses. She accepts and shows up. (No really this actually happens. A friend told me about it once.) She rejects you and you bite your lip and walk away. You might not bite your lip, but I'm going to suggest you try it. It stops you from saying something harsh. Or, she accepts and doesn't show up. By far the most unnerving and irritating. At this point you stand there, well groomed, well dressed, and well.. you just wish she'd just told you to fuck off. At least then you could've gone to the game with the guys. At least then you could've caught the 7 o'clock show at the AMC. At least then you could bite your lip, or even better you could not.

This is the world that I thought existed. This is the world that I'd grown to hate. My share of no's has definitely helped get me where I am today. A bitter, single guy with no real problems that can't land a girl for some reason or another. That's not the whole story, though. In fact, this is drastically oversimplified. There's a 5 letter word I hate more than all the times that special girl I'd been thinking about has been washing her hair or just liked me as a friend. That word is "Maybe". If you ever hear this awful, disgusting, vile excuse for a word... well, I can't help you. It means nothing to me. I'd often feel better if I hadn't asked the question. At least then I could say I'm certain your not coming because I didn't invite you. I don't have to plan around the fact that I might need to run home and get ready for the girl that probably won't come. I have to wait a couple of days and call her and then see if she's decided yet. That's a point where I feel pretty powerless. It feels like your on your knees at that point. You're begging. You're saying to her. "I really want you to come out with me. I need you." And then you're just coming on too strong, and what girl needs that?
On the other hand you could not call her. That one's a real winner. You'd be lucky to get a "maybe" ever again.
I once had a great idea. I told her to call me when she figured out if she could make it. I feel like a lot of guys are nodding their heads. The smart one's are silent. Do you know what this tells a girl? It means that she's responsible for making the decision and calling you afterwards. The burden's on her and not you. She doesn't want that. I mean she thought she could shrug you off with a "maybe". Now you're just being annoying. It's honestly never worked for me, but maybe you'll get a girl with a real "maybe". Not an "I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I'll just play with his head a little more" kind of "maybe" or better yet an "I don't have any plans yet, so I'm going to see if anything better comes along" sort of "maybe".
Maybe - one of the great modern phrases. It's right up there with, "I'll call you sometime."


I'm going to leave this one with a question. You invite a girl out innocently a few times and she says no politely each time. She makes it clear that she doesn't see people like you that often. You throw a party and decide not to invite her. Is she justified in getting angry at being snubbed? Because I'm have trouble finding my sympathy.

Conversation

Sitting down to coffee with a few others.

I haven't said anything in 10 minutes. They'll think I'm weird. You don't know the guy, and you don't watch that show. Wait! I know! Nah. It's too late. The moment's passed. Hey that girl next to me. She's not talking. Maybe I could start a conversation with her. Alright. I could talk to her about a movie. You're drunk, aren't you? Didn't she want to go dancing? Definitely drunk. What should I say? How should I say it? Just let it come naturally. Naturally? Let what come?

"So, Dave. What have you been doing for that last few months?"

"Oh. I was in Seattle."

"Oh cool! How was Seattle?"

"It was nice. It's a cool city."

"Oh! Do you remember Jay?"

"Jay?"

"Sorry. I was asking John."

What the hell was that? What did you expect? A conversation? You don't know these people. Not sure I want to anymore. Just relax. How am I supposed to get anywhere if I can't... Relax. Okay. Okay? Okay!

"Dave, you were in Seattle right?"

"Yeah."

"What were you doing there?"

"Oh. I was doing an internship at Amazon."

"That's really cool."

"Yeah. I may actually be heading back out there for a full-time position."

"Nice. Congratulations."

"Thanks. So I may be headed back for a few years." Alright. You've got something going. "I was thinking after that I'd come back..." What are you doing? "and start my own thing." Stop. "I've always wanted to do that." Oh, dear.

"So, John. How's that band of yours?"

What? How did I lose her? Simple. You're a moron. What was wrong with that? You're trying to get her involved, not give her your life story. Well I just thought... Often the first sign of trouble.

After a joke.

See. It's not that hard. Uh Oh. She wasn't Polish was she? Oh no. I hate when they cry.

"You knew my dad was a priest!"

I just met her 5 minutes ago. Say something. What? Well, apologize at least. What was her name again? Amy?

"Amy..."

"Amanda!"

I knew it started with an A.

"It was a joke! I didn't mean anything by it!"

She keeps crying.

"C'mon. Let me buy you an ice cream."

Sniffles. "Okay."

A little later.

"Hey Dave. I'm headed out. You need a lift?"

"Sure. Thanks. I'll talk to everyone soon!" Well that went well. Look at the bright side... Which is? I wasn't anticipating a followup.